Smokin' Oken
by Le T.C
Summary: Even if he was Smokin' Oken. Loliver.


_lilly and oliver are home alone._

* * *

Lilly slammed the door shut. "So...Oliver," She said, failing to hide a suspicious-looking grin.

"So, Lillian," Oliver answered in the same tone of voice, flipping through one of the magazines on her coffee table.

"Now that my parents are gone..." As she spoke, the sound of a car engine faded into the distance. "It's just us."

He grunted in a uninterested way, turning the page on the magazine. "Um...yep."

"Alone."

"Absolutely."

"With no one else here..."

"That's right."

"For the entire weekend..."

"That _is_ what they said."

She raised an eyebrow and cleared her throat, unnerved by the awkward silence.

"Are you sure you're not having some bipolar moment?" Lilly asked suddenly. "Because I can leave."

He didn't dare look up, because if he did he was almost completely positive he wouldn't be looking at her face for long. "Uh, no..." He responded quickly, his voice sounding more agitated than he had intended.

He regretfully dragged his eyes from the magazine. "I'm, uh...just...hungry. And besides," He added, "This _is_ your house. Not mine."

She glanced at him. "My mom says you're like a _son_ to her," She hinted, implying something that he didn't understand whatsoever.

"Right. Um, do you have any Oreo ice cream?" He asked, standing up and tossing the magazine onto the couch.

Lilly grinned, just a little too relieved to be normal. "In the freezer. My mom figured you would need some for the weekend, you know, you being like a _son_ and all."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he wandered into her kitchen and opened up the freezer.

Almost immediately he blinked, backed up a foot, rubbed his eyes, then looked into the freezer again.

"Uh...Lilly, what's this?"

She walked over to him. "What?"

He pointed to the bone sitting on top of his ice cream. "Um...that."

She almost immediately picked it up, much to his clearly-voiced spluttering disgust.

"Oh, be quiet," She said with a roll of her eyes. "It's a bone. For dogs to chew on. You can buy these at the pet store."

He stared at it. "But...what was it doing in your _freezer_?"

"Chilling out." She burst out laughing.

He folded his arms and leaned up against the counter.

After a few moments she composed herself, and taking in the look he was giving her, absentmindedly dusted off her shirt and said, "Right. Bad time for jokes."

"Lilly, you don't even _have_ a dog. What would a _chewing bone_ be doing in your _freezer_?"

She blinked. "I dunno. Maybe Max put it in there."

Max, her annoying ten year old younger brother. "That sounds pretty right, but..._why_?"

Lilly shrugged, closing the freezer, Oliver's ice cream forgotten. "It's Max. Does there really need to be a 'why'?"

"Point taken. This is a little odd even for him, though."

Suddenly Lilly apparently caught sight of something very interesting near the stairs, because her mouth opened and closed a couple of times and then she stuttered, "Um, I have to...get something from my room...I'll be right back."

She very nearly vanished into thin air, and Oliver shrugged, opened the freezer, moved the bone, and took out his ice cream.

Smokin' Oken never forgot about his ice cream.

But that was just one of the things he never forgot about when he was at Lilly's house.

* * *

A few minutes later, Oliver had turned on the television and had started on his overfilled bowl of Oreo ice cream.

A boring news program was on about a bunch of mysterious bee vanishings.

But the worst part was, that was probably the _least_ boring program.

He was about to change the channel again when something made him drop the clicker.

That _something_ was a loud crash followed by Lilly's frightened scream coming from upstairs.

He quickly scrambled to pick up the remote and muted the television as fast as humanly possible, but with some standard Oliver-esque clumsiness. "L-Lilly?" He called upstairs. He was beginning to get that freaked out feeling in the pit of his stomach that he got when his cousin took him cliff diving and then pushed him off of the cliff.

When she didn't reply sarcastically to him from her room, his gut 'guy' instinct was telling him to go and save the day.

But Oliver Oken was a wimp, and though he wouldn't admit it, he knew it perfectly well.

After a few tense moments of silence, he sighed, shook his head, sucked up all of his manliness, and trudged upstairs nervously.

"Lilly?" He called again.

There was no answer. Which, of course, was due to Oliver's standard amount of luck.

He very cautiously opened her door, then fought back a girlish scream.

She was laying on the floor, looking kind of dead.

He immediately panicked. "Lilly!" He shrieked, flipping on the lights. He shook her a little, fighting what half of his mind was telling him to do.

_You have do do something!_

_What if she's dead?_

_Impossible. She's not dead. If she was dead...then she'd be dead._

_Right._

_Do something!_

_Do_ what_?!_

He pressed his lips against hers, acting purely on impulse.

What he least expected was for Lilly to open one eye and break into a gigantic grin.

"Fooled you," She told him.

He began to splutter uselessly, jumping up. "What?! This was a set-up?!"

She didn't respond, very clearly trying not to grin any wider.

"So the bone, and the going upstairs, and the screaming...that was all _your_ idea?!"

She shook her head. "It was Miley's." That stupid little grin.

He ignored the closet down the hall as it exploded into laughter.

"Why?!"

She shrugged. The grin stayed put. "We wanted to scare you."

"But what about..." He trailed off.

Her grin widened, if that was possible. She leaned forward and whispered into his ear.

"That last part was an added bonus."

She paused.

"For both of us."

Lilly kissed him on the cheek and skipped down the hallway happily.

Leaving a confused Oliver Oken standing in her room, dumbfounded.

Even if he _was_ Smokin' Oken.


End file.
